Career Strategy: When Your
Boss is a Bully
Q. Right after I accepted my new position, the
manager who
hired me quit. I now have a boss "Sam" who's a classic bully. He
has most of the office terrorized. Every question becomes a
confrontation. Last week, he walked into the conference room as I was
meeting with a customer and began berating me about a missing fax. Our
Regional VP has asked us to be understanding because Sam has family and
health problems. I've only been here two months. Should I begin looking
for a new job?
A. When you're a midlife, midcareer manager, you
face
different challenges than an entry level employee. Changing jobs can be
one of your options -- after you've taken some steps.
(1)
Document your
boss's behavior, with action time and date. Personal
comments ("he's a jerk," are irrelevant. Instead, "Sam entered
Conference Room A at 11:04 AM while I was meeting with Mary, VP of
Eastern Widgets. Mary left five minutes later, so I could not complete
my presentation to this Major Account." Write what Sam said and
describe his gestures objectively. "He pointed a finger at me," not,
"He waved his arms wildly." Keep your notes at home.
(2) Document your
efforts
to establish a good relationship with your new boss. Be ready to
demonstrate that you're building bridges.
(3) Stay tuned to
the
office grapevine but avoid getting bogged down in long gripe
sessions. Use the time to enhance your skills and test the job market.
(4) Take care of
your
own
needs. Coaches can
help you develop creative coping strategies and provide a confidential
sounding board. If you're seriously depressed or anxious, find the
appropriate professional resource.
(5) Begin
exploring the
job market, even if
you're new. Many employers will understand if you explain, "The manager
who fought to get me hired has left the company and my new boss wants
to put own team together." Be brief and professional.
(6) Call the
manager who
hired you. She may not be willing to serve as a reference, but she
can back up your story of a change in management.
(7) Listen for
hidden
agendas. Some managers are untouchable, no matter how outrageously
they behave, because of some past history with the company. Maybe they
brought in a big account during an economic downturn. Maybe they saved
the president's career a long time ago. You may never learn the reason.
(8) Assess your
corporate
culture before making a formal complaint. Once you've reached
management level, you have to tread carefully when appealing to HR,
senior managers or even legal action. You're expected to be able to
handle all kinds of tough situations. Some companies even evaluate
managers on how they deal with a bad boss.
(9) Prepare a
"last
resort" strategy. If your boss has crossed the line from bad to
bully, you can't find a new job, and your stress level soars, take your
documentation to the appropriate resource. Start with your boss's boss,
then human resources. Make your case professionally, in terms of the
company's needs. "I've lost two sales reps who named Sam in their exit
interview. I've had to spend an extra nine thousand dollars to hire
replacements and they're still on their learning curve."
(10)
Reclaim your
own power. Seize the opportunity to use your company's
resources as a vehicle to reach your own career goals. A coach or
consultant can help you identify specific steps you can take. Recognize
that your time here will be limited and begin to invest time, energy
and sometimes money in your own healthy long-term future.
Recommended reading:
Survive your
performance
review (and move to your dream career. Click here for more information.
Your 21-Day Extreme Career Makeover Click here for more
information.
If you liked this article, you'll
love the
Great Career Moves Ezine. Free report: Why most career change
fails (and how you can write your own success story). Subscribe
here.