Q. "What do you want to be when you grow
up?"
A. "Something that hasn't been
invented yet."
by Cathy Goodwin, Ph.D.
Most of us were brought up to study hard, get good
grades, choose a "practical" college major, and strive for a "good job."
Talk to a stranded midlife career-changer and you
realize the game has changed. Yesterday's rules prepared us to be
passengers on a large ocean liner that promised a smooth voyage. Today
we realize that ocean liner turned out to be the Titanic and we need to
keep ourselves afloat on a small life raft if we want to survive.
Here are some tips to help your child learn not
only
to survive, but to thrive and grow in a chaotic world.
1. From the first day of kindergarten, encourage
your child to build on strengths rather than focus on limitations.
Does she spend hours studying models of cars for
the
last twenty years? Maybe she'll become an auto mechanic -- or maybe
she'll parlay her ability to classify detailed information into a
career as a biologist or pharmacist.
2. Encourage your child to choose a field of
study based on his or her natural abilities and passions, not "what
will get me a job."
Claudia Kennedy, the Army's first female three-star
General, majored in philosophy. In her book Generally Speaking,
she claims philosophy prepared her to become a top-level intelligence
officer. Carly Fiorino, famed CEO of Hewlett-Packard, studied medieval
history. And Michael Lewis, financial writer and best-selling author of
Liars Poker, was an art history major.
3. Assure your children that few mistakes are
fatal.
Did your child fail a course? Face rejection from a
first-choice college? Most of us can't avoid an occasional failure, but
we can learn bounce-back attitudes as soon as we can talk.
Yolanda Griffith, WNBA basketball star, dropped out
of a premier program due to pregnancy. She returned to a lower-ranked
college program, baby in tow, and now plays for the Sacramento Monarchs.
I once taught a student who had flunked out of
junior college following a close call with the legal system. After a
four-year stint in the US Navy, she returned to college, maintained a
dean's list grade point average, and went on to a top law school.
4. Encourage your child to experience success in any area of her life.
Did she make the honor roll? Get selected for a
play, a club, or athletic team? Win an election for competitive office?
Survive a strenuous application process for a summer job? Once your
child has tasted success, he will know how it feels and will act like a
winner when he enters the job market.
Cecilia, a shy twelve-year-old, blossomed when she
won the lead in a school play. "We want you to improve your grades, not
spend time in rehearsal!" fumed her worried mother.
To everyone's surprise, Cecilia's grades improved
and she made new friends with the "good kids" who were also achievers.
Most important, no matter what happens, Cecilia can return to that
feeling of success whenever she gets discouraged.
5. Getting into a top university -- or any
university -- will not guarantee success.
I've met Ivy Leaguers who have experienced
unemployment, bankruptcy and even homelessness. I've met high school
drop outs who flourished on their own initiative.
In my own small town, a couple with graduate
degrees
dropped out to pursue artistic careers -- and they clean houses to pay
the bills. Recently a minimum wage job was posted by a nonprofit -- and
several unemployed lawyers applied.
Career-changers who face the future with an
attitude
of "I can handle anything" are the ones who win today. Tossed into the
ocean, they'll improvise a set of oars and keep up their spirits till
they figure out what to do next. Those who feel betrayed ("I thought I
was set for life") flounder around for weeks, months, even years.
Entitlement is over Those who have a positive
outlook, who can seize the unexpected opportunity, can count on
reaching the shore. And they realize that only they can transform a
resting place into a safe harbor.
I offer one-to-one consultations.
Recommended reading:
Teach your
intuition to send you a telegram (not a post card) and make brilliant
decisions for business and career. Click here for more information.
Your 21-Day Extreme Career Makeover Click here for more
information.
If you liked this article, you'll
love the
Great Career Moves Ezine. Free report: Why most career change
fails (and how you can write your own success story). Subscribe
here.