Career coaching article:
Losing a career can
feel
like getting a divorce.
by Cathy Goodwin, Ph.D.
Most of us are aware that we need to grieve the
death of a close friend, relative or favorite pet. We are beginning to
learn that other events -- relocation, divorce, illness -- can also be
experienced as loss.
Losing a career or business can also be a source of
grief, anger and frustration. Starting a new business is an end as well
as a beginning. You may feel as though you are getting a divorce after
a
twenty-year marriage. Here's why.
1. Sometimes the career
leaves you. The
field wants "younger people." Or you have to change in ways that
violate your sense of self.
2. Sometimes you leave a
career that seems
perfectly wonderful and fulfilling to those on the outside. "The
money's so good," your mother says, "and it's not as if you're
scrubbing floors all day. Can't you just hang in there and pretend you
like it?"
3. You feel disloyal.
After all, you've
gained a lot from this career. For the rest of your life, you will view
the world through the lens created by your training and
experience.
4. Friends take sides. After you
leave, some
former colleagues no longer return your calls. Others try to engage you
in a rousing session of "Aren't they horrible," which you don't want
either.
5.
You're bound to be judged and maybe envied. Are you leaving for
a new love, an opportunity that
will be livelier,
more exciting, and yes, even sexier? Or are you leaving for a
new career that your former associates find entirely unsuitable?
6. You
are forced to abandon some projects because your new life has no
room for them. Anyway,
without your former affiliation, your credibility may be questioned.
7. Your
new identity will open doors to new
and exciting places, but people treat you differently. You feel naked
without the old title on your business card.
8. The
rules of the game have changed since
the last time you were unattached. And this time around, you're less
interested in those "how to get lucky" sessions.
9. You
spend more time in the gym. You spend
hours walking the dog. You try new hair styles, dare to enter an art
gallery, read your first self-help book and consider talking to a
professional who bears little resemblance to Jennifer Melfi.
10. You begin to feel hope.
"Being on my
own for the rest of my life may not be such a bad thing."
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